AIR DECCAN

This is fucking funny!

WELCOME TO AIR DECCAN ( hope you know this airline in India )Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen....This is your captain PATEL welcoming both seated and standing

passengersonboard of Air Deccan.We apologize for the four-day delay in taking off,it was due to badweatherand partly due to the search for a missingtyre.This is flight 717 to Mumbai. Landing there is notguaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in India . And, if luck is inour favor, we may even be landing on your village!

Air Deccan has an excellent safety-record. In fact,our safety standards are so high, that even terrorists are afraid tofly with us! It is withpleasure; I announce that, starting this year, over30% of our Passengers have reached their destination.If our engines are too noisy for you, on passengerrequest, we can arrange to turn them off.

To make your free fall toearth pleasant and memorable, we serve Complimentary Daru and VadaPav. For our not-so-religious passengers, we are the onlyairline who can help you find out if there really is a God!

We regret to inform you, that today's in-flightmovie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television.However, for our movie buffs, we will be flyingright next to Kingfisher Airline, where their moviewill be visible from the right side of the cabinwindow.

There is no smoking allowed in this airplane. Anysmoke you see in the Cabin is only the early warning system on theengines telling us to slow down!In order to catch important landmarks, we try to flyas close as possible. For the best view , if however, we go alittle too close, do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimesflies right through the landmark!

Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an uprightposition for take-off and fasten your seat-belt. For those of you whocan'tfind a seat-belt,kindly Fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And, for those ofyouwho can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a stewardesswhowill explain how to fasten yourself to your suitcase.
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